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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24990349">even when you're here i kinda miss you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smc_27/pseuds/smc_27'>smc_27</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Society (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, because harry is a spoiled ski bum, this is a winter fever dream, winter wonderland fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:02:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24990349</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smc_27/pseuds/smc_27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When they come back from winter break, he walks into work and sees Allie at the front desk, where he knew she’d be, with Will from the events department. </p><p>Harry tenses his jaw and walks past like he hasn’t noticed, but she’s gonna know he’s noticed. He knows for a fact she looks at him as much as he looks at her. That’s just a thing and has been for a while.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Bingham/Allie Pressman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>even when you're here i kinda miss you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/backfire/gifts">backfire</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you to backfire for the prompt, which was Cherry by Harry Styles; in particular, the line 'don't you call him what you used to call me'. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When they come back from winter break, he walks into work and sees Allie at the front desk, where he knew she’d be, with Will from the events department. </p><p>Harry tenses his jaw and walks past like he hasn’t noticed, but she’s gonna know he’s noticed. He knows for a fact she looks at him as much as he looks at her. That’s just a thing and has been for a while.</p><p>He’s just about to open the door to head into the staff room when he hears her say, “Thanks for the tea, LeClair.” </p><p>He’s pretty sure he also hears her kiss the guy, or the guy kiss her, but Harry pushes that thought from his mind. He’s kinda stuck on her calling Will by his last name. She only ever used to do that with Harry, and only after she asked him why he called her by her last name. She asked him how he liked it and like. He did. So. It stuck.</p><p>When they left in early December, and Allie said she maybe needed a break, he didn’t think a break would mean this. And when she didn’t return his texts, maybe he should’ve gotten the fucking hint, but he thinks this is bullshit. They’d said they’d keep it casual, but that was at the start of last season. They’ve been sleeping together off and on for a fucking year. Harry thinks he kind of deserves more than her just saying she needed a break, then like, dating someone else. </p><p>Harry checks his schedule for the day once he’s in the staff room. Teaching skiing lessons at this resort wasn’t exactly a thing he thought he’d do during college, but then his mom wanted to punish him for something (he knows exactly what; doesn’t want to talk about it) and told him if he didn’t get some kind of job, she’d cut him off completely. This place is owned by a family friend, and Harry spent most of his childhood winters here, so it was easy enough to get put on payroll. He’d sort of thought he’d be tabbed for management, but got laughed at when he said so, and told that since he’s such a good skier, they could use him on the slopes. So here he is, doing his second winter as he tries to finish out his undergrad and not get kicked out of the family, or whatever. </p><p>The last thing he needs is to see Allie and Will right now. Like, Harry literally can’t handle it. He just takes a picture of the schedule on his phone like he does every day, and grabs his warm gloves out of his stupid cubby. He’ll stop off at the canteen with the cute new girl who works there and flirt because maybe it’ll make him feel better. </p><p>Allie walks in just as he’s zipping his jacket. </p><p>“Hey,” she says, sounding nervous, or something. He really doesn’t want to do this. ”Busy day?”</p><p>Harry scoffs, looks right at her. Like, is she fucking serious? “Yep.”</p><p>She closes her eyes and he heads for the door. “Harry, can we...Can we be civil?”</p><p>“Who’s not being civil?” he asks, giving her a cold look. “I’ve got a lesson, so.”</p><p>She says, “Fine,” and leaves before him, which is annoying. </p><p>He misses making out with her in the break room. </p><p>This is stupid.</p><p>… … …</p><p>Allie used to teach lessons, too. Mostly for kids, because she’s got more patience with them than most of the other instructors. But then at the end of last season, she broke her leg and went on modified work. Harry remembers feeling sick to his stomach when he saw her being carried on a stretcher into the first aid building. He couldn’t even go over because he was trying to teach this lady how to stop being scared of moving, or whatever. And he’d helped Allie - gotten her groceries and helped her home from the hospital and hung out with her so she wouldn’t be lonely while she was off work for a week. </p><p>And then realized that walking in every day and seeing her at the front desk was kind of even better than seeing her on the slopes or the bunny hill occasionally. </p><p>Keeping things casual had been her idea. </p><p>Seeing her doing this thing with someone who isn’t him is absolute bullshit. </p><p>… … …</p><p>His family’s had a chalet here for as long as Harry can remember. It’s maybe his favourite place in the world. Mostly because he remembers weekends here as a kid, taking a helicopter in because yeah, his family’s that extra. Taking a four hour drive to Vermont when they wanted to go? Obviously not an option. Harry remembers his dad teaching him how to ski and how to light fires and how to properly clear snow - because apparently there’s a wrong way to do that? He remembers drinking hot chocolate in the living room with his sister, and then drinking scotch in the living room with his dad before his dad died. </p><p>His mom told him he was in crisis, or something, when he decided to go to school in Vermont instead of Cornell or Georgetown. But whatever. She got over it easily enough. (That’s a lie. She hasn’t. She just doesn’t bug him about it anymore because it’s no use. He’s a senior. She’s stopped asking him to transfer somewhere ‘more appropriate’.) He thinks maybe she was just pissed that he had a better relationship with his dead dad than he ever did with her. But that sounds like her shit to work through. And when he told her he was moving into the chalet, she didn’t do anything but tell him to be responsible, whatever that meant.</p><p>Right now, he’s having a hard time not remembering this time last year, when they’d gotten back from winter break and Allie had looked all nervous and cute and told him she’d missed him. And the way she’d nodded all quickly when he asked if she wanted to come for a drink. And the way she looked in the glow of the fireplace right before he kissed her the first time since December.  </p><p>He needs to stop. If she thinks he’s good enough to fuck around with but not boyfriend material, then fuck her. </p><p>He isn’t even sure he wants to be her boyfriend. It just would’ve been nice to be considered.</p><p>… … …</p><p>She’s checking in a guest when he walks in the next day. He’s got a four hour shift, then two classes this afternoon. He wonders what her class schedule is like this semester. Not his problem, but he’s still curious. </p><p>He recognizes this guest as the lady who comes every few months. She wears a wedding ring, but is with a different guy every time, and he and Allie used to speculate on what her deal was, make up all sorts of horrible stories about her. When he catches Allie’s eye as he walks by, she presses her lips together like she’s trying not to laugh. He likes that she wants to acknowledge their inside joke, even if it does make his heart twist a little. </p><p>He thinks what this is, is him missing her. He doesn’t actually want to think about that. He sort of just wants to grab a waffle with Nutella from the dining room, fill his travel mug with coffee, and head up the lift. </p><p>He walks back out and the customer is gone, and Will’s leaning on the desk, and Harry says, “Hey,” when Will says good morning. </p><p>Look, Harry doesn’t like the guy. He’s never liked the guy. Harry thinks Will thinks he’s better than everyone and he’s not. Like, he just isn’t.</p><p>Allie doesn’t say hi to him, so he doesn’t say hi to her, either. </p><p>… … …</p><p>He sees her on campus, walking from her car to class, or something. She’s wearing her winter jacket and the navy blue hat she bought before the break with the obnoxiously big pom pom on top. She looks cute as fuck, with her earbuds in as she looks at her phone and walks. Harry feels like a creep for just watching her. He just hasn’t seen her in a few days because he had a day off, and then she wasn’t at the desk when he walked in yesterday, so maybe she did, too. </p><p>She looks up, sees him walking towards her, and smiles. Let him be clear - he’s not walking towards her because it’s her. He’s walking towards her because he’s on his way to his car to go home. </p><p>“Hey,” she says, and her cheeks are all pink from the cold, and Harry really has to stop thinking about how she looked when they were having sex, but it’s difficult when he sees her like this. </p><p>“Hey.” </p><p>“I um...I’m on my way to class, but can we talk soon?” she asks, and Harry just...He doesn't want to talk. What’s the point? She’s clearly made a decision without talking to him, so why should she fill him in on the details now? </p><p>“About what?” he asks, and she gets this hurt look on her face, which is stupid. She’s the one who… He can play dumb and ignore this if he wants to. </p><p>She breathes out, “Forget it,” and walks past him, and he could stop her and apologize and tell her to come over later, or something. </p><p>But he doesn’t. Because fuck her for trying to like, let him down gently <i>after</i> already making it clear she’s hooking up with someone else. </p><p>… … …</p><p>He has a Saturday off, which never happens. Literally this is his first one all season. And he had a few off in the summer because he doesn’t teach, obviously, and instead works as a bartender in the fancy restaurant at the resort. The one that’s used mostly for fine dining but is often bought out for weddings and private events and shit in the warmer months. That’s how he knows about Will. He remembers in July, the Cooper wedding, and Will giving Harry shit for accepting a tip. Like it’s wrong of him to take a $20 from the father of the groom. It wasn’t even a good tip. So fuck that guy for that, and for other things.</p><p>Anyway, he doesn’t work tomorrow, and his friend Jason invites him to this club Harry knows is shitty. He says yes because he could use the night out, honestly. </p><p>He asks Becca, the cute girl from the canteen, if she wants to come out with them, but she says she’s in at 6:30 tomorrow morning and makes a face that should be unattractive but isn’t. She also says, “What’s your deal, Harry?” as if she’s a little suspicious of the invite. He leans towards her when she hands him his cup and asks the same question back to her. She laughs, throws a sugar packet at him, and tells him to stop holding up her line. There’s no line.</p><p>It’s a $20 cover and Harry pays for himself and Jason because the guy reminds him he covered last time when Harry didn’t have cash at a cash only place. It’s fine. It’s not like he’s hurting for money. But it does make him wonder if that's the only reason he was invited in the first place.</p><p>It’s loud and rank in here, and too hot, and the music sucks. Jason’s friends are in a booth at the back, and Harry grabs a drink and tries to decide how long he has to stay. </p><p>He spots Allie on his way to the table. She’s with that girl whose name he can’t remember, and Kelly, and that guy Grizz who does hill maintenance in the summer when shit is all set up for mountain biking, and grooms trails in the winter. </p><p>She rolls her eyes when she sees him. Cool. Fuck her. He walks past without saying anything, and changes his timeline on leaving from two drinks to one. </p><p>He’s barely said hi to folks when Allie marches over, grabs him by the hand, and pulls him away. He smirks at these guys as if to imply this shit happens all the time, and acts like this is about to be something a whole lot more pleasant than a fight. Allie pulls him down the hallway with the bathrooms and out the back door out onto the patio, which is just a place for people to smoke whatever they’re smoking. Allie’s wearing a black tee shirt and jeans and he’s wearing a black tee shirt and jeans, and neither of them are dressed to be outside in fucking January. </p><p>“Will you stop ignoring me?” she asks, all pissed. “This is so stupid. I hate it.”</p><p>Harry sips his drink and blinks at her. “Oh, you hate it?” Her brow furrows like she doesn’t get it, which is fucking annoying. “It was really awesome to walk in and see that you’re like, dating Will.”</p><p>She sighs. “We still work together. I thought we could be friends.”</p><p>His turn to give her a look. He tilts his head like she’s talking crazy. “Haven’t seen any of my other coworkers naked, Allie. That makes it a little awkward.”</p><p>This isn’t even about the sex. But if she wants to act like they were nothing, he can, too. </p><p>“Will is nice.”</p><p>Harry pulls a face. “I don’t give a fuck,” he says, because it should be obvious, shouldn’t it? “You said you wanted a break. You could’ve just told me you were done.”</p><p>She sighs, puts her hand in her hair at the top of her head. It sort of fucks him up, because it’s the same thing she does immediately after she comes. </p><p>“We said it was casual,” she reminds him quietly. </p><p>He nods. She’s not wrong. </p><p>“Guess I should’ve read between the lines on that one. You wanted to keep sleeping together until someone better came along.”</p><p>“Harry,” she whispers, like she’s hurt he feels that way, or like she’s bothered that she hurt him. One or the other, and he doesn’t know which. </p><p>“Let’s just forget it ever happened.”</p><p>She looks upset that he’s said that. </p><p>Whatever. </p><p>He stays for another drink because he doesn’t wanna give himself away and leave immediately after talking to her. She slips back into her group of friends and dances and drinks those shitty coolers she always gets at the bar because they’re cheap and get you drunk fast. She catches his eye when she’s on the dance floor, smiles at him like she used to. </p><p>That’s when he leaves, half a drink still on the table. Because he can’t handle letting himself think for a fucking second that part of her still wants him. </p><p>… … …</p><p>She’s mopping the lobby floor when he walks in next, which is definitely not her job, but there was fresh snow this morning, and people are tracking in snow, water, slush and salt, and the owner always flips if the lobby looks like shit. Figures, Allie would take it upon herself to do this. She doesn’t stop when she notices him. She doesn’t even really look at him. He avoids the spot she’s already mopped, because yeah, he’s pissed, but he’s not a complete asshole. </p><p>He got a few runs in this morning before his shift, because he, too, wanted to take advantage of the fresh snowfall. The season so far has been just okay, and Harry knows when it’s worth it to get up an hour and a half early. His cheeks are still burning from the cold and wind. </p><p>When he goes to get his coffee from Becca, there’s literally no one else around within earshot, and she says, “I heard a rumour about you.”</p><p>Harry scoffs and gives her a look. He knows there’re rumors about him. Everything from him being an orphan, to him secretly being the owner’s kid and not his actual dad’s, to him getting caught last year sneaking out of a guest’s room. All these are untrue, and he’s sure there’re others he hasn’t caught wind of. </p><p>“Which one?”</p><p>Becca lets out a cute laugh and says, “That you and the blonde girl from the front desk were pretty hot and heavy for a while.”</p><p>Okay, he doesn’t know who would’ve told her that, or who would’ve known at all, or what her point is right now, bringing it up like this.</p><p>“People’re always talking shit,” he says, which isn’t a denial, obviously. Becca seems to get it, though, nods her head and hands him his coffee. He sort of likes his new routine of coming out here and getting it from her rather than going into the dining room like he was doing until literally Allie’s first day back. </p><p>“She’s with the cute guy from catering, right?”</p><p>“Events,” Harry mumbles, though he doesn’t know why, because it literally couldn’t matter less. “You think he’s cute?”</p><p>Becca laughs, gives him a look, says, “I mean…” as if it’s absurd that he’s asking. Like he should just know it’s a fact, or something. He thinks that’s dumb.</p><p>So he flashes her a smile, pushes his hair off his forehead. “You think he’s cuter than me?”</p><p>And yeah, he makes it sound a little like anyone who thinks so is crazy. </p><p>(But like, is he wrong?)</p><p>Becca rubs her lips together and leans closer to him. “If I’m honest, how much of an insufferable jerk are you going to be about it?”</p><p>Harry laughs, knowing he’s got his answer even if she doesn’t want to say it out loud. He tells her to have a good day and walks off thinking he’d feel better about this if he thought Allie agreed with her. </p><p>… … …</p><p>Saturday morning before his shift, he decides to get a few runs in. He spots Becca opening up, and waves at her, calls out a good morning. She looks more tired than usual, but he of course isn’t gonna like, say anything about that. He had coffee at home this morning, typed out a text to his mom because she messaged him the other day and he hadn’t replied yet. And he took a picture out the huge window in the great room when the sun was painting the sky a pretty colour. He doesn’t post it or do anything with it. He just thinks it’s nice. </p><p>At the top of the hill, he spots Allie off to the side in her skiing gear, her boots on and her poles stuck into the snow on either side of her. She’s not buckled into her bindings. She looks freaked out. </p><p>Harry heads over to her to make sure she’s okay. Because he’s not a complete dick. </p><p>(Because he cares about her, even if it doesn’t matter to her.) </p><p>“You good?” he asks, and she nods too fast for him to believe her. “Allie.”</p><p>“I still haven’t skied since my injury.” <i>Injury</i> is one way of putting it. She broke her tibia in two places. She’s not making eye contact with him. “I really want to.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“I’m scared,” she tells him, and yeah, he picked up on that already. </p><p>Harry takes a breath. She looks up at him like she’s worried he’s gonna say something mean, or whatever. Which is maybe at least a little fair, because they’ve not exactly been kind to each other lately, you know? </p><p>“Wanna go together?” he asks, and she gives him a look. She always used to get mad at him for going too fast for her. “I’ll stay with you.”</p><p>There’s something soft, gentle in her eyes as she stares at him. “Will you?”</p><p>He shrugs his shoulders. “Sure.”</p><p>“I don’t want to go fast,” she insists, and Harry rolls his eyes. Yeah, he’s getting the sense she’s not going for speed here. She’s just wanting to get back on the hill. Why she chose this run is…</p><p>No, he knows why she chose it. It’s their favourite. It’s got the best view and the best turns and it smells fucking amazing up here in the mornings. He thinks that’s a thing they can still agree on. </p><p>She buckles in and he stays close to her, asks if she’s ready, and then he lets her go ahead of him a little and set the pace. </p><p>She didn’t braid her hair, which is a bit surprising. So it’s just kind of wild behind her, even at this glacial pace she’s setting. He’s trying to be patient. He likes going fast and racing her and being out of breath when he gets to the bottom of the hill. He knows she likes that, too. Well, she likes going kind of fast. She didn’t like losing to him all the time. But that’s not his fault. </p><p>At one point, she looks over her shoulder at him and smiles, and god, he’s so fucking…</p><p>You know what bothers him the most? The fact that it seems she just wasn’t <i>ever</i> honest with him. She obviously didn’t want to do a casual thing. She obviously wanted a relationship. And it pisses him off that she didn’t even talk to him and tell him that, or ask if he’d be interested. Because he would have been. He is. But he didn’t even get a shot. He’s sort of kicking himself for not asking more questions when she said she wanted to stop. He should’ve asked why. He should’ve let her know he didn’t like the idea. But that’s hindsight, and all that. Because she said break, which sort of made sense in the context of him going home for the holidays and not being around. Like maybe she wanted to cool it on their texting and shit, too. Which he still wouldn’t have liked. Didn’t like. But maybe it would have meant something different when he got back. </p><p>Honestly, knowing that he was in Connecticut missing her and she was here starting a fucking relationship with Will makes him feel like a complete idiot.</p><p>She starts veering towards the treeline a bit, and his heart starts racing, but then she doubles back towards the centre of the hill and Harry moves so they’re criss crossing. She’s picking up a little speed, and he doesn’t know if that’s deliberate, like she’s getting her nerve back, or if it’s unintentional. But she’s doing fine. She looks great. Of course she does. And he’ll do another run after this so he can go as fast as he wants. No, fuck it. If she wants to go again and asks him to join her, he will. </p><p>When they get to the bottom, she comes to a stop and flips her goggles up onto her head, sticks her poles into the snow once she’s off to the side. He joins her there, and god, she’s got this blinding smile on her face. </p><p>“Lookin’ good,” he says, and she lets out a little laugh he likes more than he should. </p><p>She waits a beat, then says, “Thank you,” and he shrugs like it was no big deal. He doesn’t know if she was thanking him for the compliment or the company, but it doesn’t matter. “Do you…” She bites her lip, then goes for it. “Wanna grab breakfast?”</p><p>He can’t go to breakfast with her like things are fine, when they’re not for him.</p><p>He can’t help himself. </p><p>“Will your boyfriend be there?”</p><p>She sucks in a breath, then looks up at the sky. “If you’re genuinely asking, no. If you’re saying that to be an asshole, forget it.” </p><p>And like, excuse her?</p><p>“I’m not the asshole here,” he tells her quietly, because some of the other staff are showing up for their shifts and he doesn’t want this to be a <i>thing</i>. She gets this hurt look on her face that he can’t stand. </p><p>“How can you be so nice to me one second, and then a jerk the next?” she asks, and unclips her bindings. Harry’s stomach is rumbling, but he’s torn between going to get food, or going for another run and then scarfing a Power Bar or something before his first lesson.</p><p>“Look, I just…” <i>Miss you</i>. “Maybe someday talking to you won’t make me feel terrible, but right now it does.”</p><p>“Harry,” she whispers. </p><p>He tugs her zipper down just to bug her, and it’s a thing he used to do all the time, and she recognizes that, too. It’s just this normal, natural gesture between them that maybe is meant to remind her that they weren’t always this shit together. Or maybe it’s to let her know that at some point he’ll be fine being around her. That time isn’t now, though. </p><p>(And he thinks the only other girl he thought about this much after breaking up was his high school girlfriend, who he was convinced he was in love with. No one else has made him stress this much. He’s really trying not to think too much about that.) </p><p>He says, “I’ll see you later?” and picks up his skis, and she just nods but doesn’t argue or say anything else. That, too, makes him feel a little badly. He wishes she’d just say what she’s feeling. He wishes she’d do it so it’d give him room to do it, too. </p><p>When he sees Becca later, she points towards where he was standing with Allie earlier, and says, “That looked intense,” and it doesn’t seem like she just wants gossip and instead like she’s actually checking up on him. He smiles and asks her when her break is, and then they sit in the dining room to have lunch and he doesn’t talk about Allie then, but he learns more about Becca. She’s got a kid and this job fits into her daycare and class schedules, and he comments that she sounds busy as fuck, and she says, “I am. It’s exhausting.” She shows him pictures of her daughter, this cute, tiny thing with brown hair like Becca’s. He’s laughing when Allie comes in with Will and they head for the buffet line. He ignores her and he knows she’s feeling nervous, because she tucks her hair behind her ear and that’s one of her tells. </p><p>Becca says quietly, “Someday I’m going to ask for the full story.”</p><p>“Someday I’ll tell you,” he says, leans back in his chair and sips his water. </p><p>… … …</p><p>“Are you hitting on the new girl?”</p><p>And like, excuse him for laughing, but he’s dropping his shit in the staff room and then Allie’s behind him, asking him that, and it’s none of her goddamn business and also <i>fuck her</i>.</p><p>“Did you know it’s entirely possible that I talk to a girl without wanting to get into her pants?”</p><p>And okay, he <i>was</i> hitting on Becca. He’s not anymore. But that’s really not the point, is it? </p><p>Allie scoffs, and when he turns to look at her, she’s got her arms crossed and she’s leaning against the wall. He didn’t realize she was so close. </p><p>Then she gets all quiet, says, “It’d be fine if you were,” but she’s not looking at him, and that tone of voice isn’t convincing in the slightest. </p><p>“Thanks for your permission, Allie,” he says, and stuffs his bag into his cubby, then slips his phone into his pants pocket. </p><p>She says, “You should get to be happy with someone else,” but her face doesn’t match her words, and Harry just watches her for a moment, because he doesn’t know what the hell she’s getting at, honestly. </p><p>“Happy like you are with him?”</p><p>He shouldn’t have said that. Shit. </p><p>She nods. </p><p>He closes his eyes, sucks in a breath. This was easier when he could pretend that wasn’t a fact. </p><p>And he’s so fucking tired of this back and forth, and both of them pretending he isn’t as obviously fucked up about all this as he is. </p><p>“I think I should get over you before trying to be with anyone else,” he tells her, and she looks surprised, or sad, or like she might cry, or something. And then he takes in a deep breath and checks the time on the clock on the wall. He’s got 10 minutes before his lesson, which is cutting it close. “I’ve gotta go.”</p><p>She nods, but doesn’t say anything else, and doesn’t follow him out of the room, and it’s weird, but he feels better having said something close to the truth about his feelings. Weird how that works. </p><p>… … …</p><p>He and Becca go for ice cream at Ben &amp; Jerry’s in the city with her kid, because Harry literally didn’t know what to suggest and figured kids and ice cream was a good combo. And ice cream is a year round thing, right?</p><p>When he shows up and Becca’s there with this tiny human in the pinkest snowsuit he’s ever seen, her cheeks all red and a little snot dribble coming down from one nostril. He doesn’t know if he thinks she’s cute or if this was a mistake. </p><p>She’s a chatterbox, too. She talks a mile a minute and there are words Harry can’t understand, but he nods along, and remembers when his sister was in this phase. He’s a little surprised he can slip so easily back into being patient with this kid, but he doesn’t mind, and he thinks Becca appreciates it. </p><p>Allie’s friends Kelly and Helena walk by outside holding hands and Harry registers that that’s new. Kelly notices him and does a double take, so he knows this will get back to Allie, but who cares? </p><p>“You ready for that whole story?” he asks, because he’s finally ready to talk. He laughs at how quickly she pulls up Peppa Pig or something on her phone to keep Eden distracted. </p><p>He starts at the beginning, about how they were just sleeping together. She asks him when it changed, and he’s not really sure, okay? He just knows he went to the beach house in Massachusetts for part of the summer, like he usually does, and he missed Allie like crazy. She’d send him updates on the regular customers, and how her leg was healing, and that she’d gotten a raise and he should ask for one when he came back, and by the way when was he coming back? He tells her about them slipping back into it in late August when he got back, when Allie came over with a bottle of wine and lingerie on under her jeans. But he keeps it PG, of course. And he tells Becca how they’d always said it’d be casual, and that was sort of fine, until they were nothing and Harry’s feeling like an idiot for taking it - and her - for granted, or something. </p><p>Becca wipes her lips with a napkin and grins at him, shaking her head like he’s stupid, or something.  </p><p>“I mean, it honestly sounds like you both wanted more, but she thought you didn’t, so she ended it, and you didn’t realize you did, so you let her.”</p><p>Harry blinks. That’s...remarkably succinct and seemingly accurate. Becca shrugs a shoulder, then steals a bite of his ice cream, which has mostly melted in its dish by now. </p><p>“So what the f...What am I supposed to do now?”</p><p>Becca smiles at him for adjusting his language for the <i>child</i> sitting next to her. </p><p>“Nothing you can do, really,” she says, and yeah, that’s what he was afraid of. “You tell her how you feel now, you’re the jerk who breaks up a good thing she has with Will. Or, alternatively, it doesn’t break them up, but you feel like hell about it.”</p><p>“So I just have to like, take the L and try to forget about her?” he asks, and like...That sounds fucking miserable. </p><p>“The price you pay for not being honest about your feelings when you had the chance,” she says, and it’s direct, but sort of gentle, and he nods because he can’t really argue it, can he? “And come on!” She shoves his shoulder, which makes him laugh. “You’re smart and rich and really hot. It’s not like it’ll be hard to get over her by getting under someone else.”</p><p>“Jesus, Becca,” he says, eyeing her literal kid. He grins at her, and knows this may not go over well, but… “You offering?”</p><p>She laughs until she’s leaning almost falling out of her chair and has to use the table to stop herself, and Harry rolls her eyes and figures that’s a no. Not that he was being serious. But if she’d said yes…</p><p>Yeah, he really doesn’t want to have two coworkers things are awkward with. That, and he likes having a friend. It’s nice. </p><p>… … …</p><p>Valentine’s Day is literally the stupidest shit in the world, okay, and last year he and Allie just got a bottle of bourbon and went to his place and got tipsy in front of the fire with the snow falling outside, and when he told her how beautiful she looked, she climbed onto his lap on the couch and…</p><p>It’s not every Valentine’s he hates. It’s just this one in particular. </p><p>The dining room is all decorated with red napkins and red roses on the tables, and there’s a special menu. Allie’s got more roses at the front desk, and she’s wearing red lipstick that looks way better on it than it has any business doing. Fuck. </p><p>Harry’s wearing all black and grins at her when she notices and rolls her eyes. </p><p>“Lonely hearts club’s closed today,” she says, and he thinks she’s trying to tease him. </p><p>So he can tease, too, right? </p><p>“I heard there’s speed dating later. Might go.” </p><p>Allie laughs, loud and bright, and the phone rings, so she answers. He isn’t teaching today, but they asked if he could help out at the front desk because it’s one of the busiest days of the year for folks checking in. He thought he’d be working with Erika, whose name was on the schedule when he looked. (...When he asked before confirming because he didn’t want to spend 8 hours next to Allie on this sappy fucking day when he doesn’t have the promise of having sex with her later. Sue him.)</p><p>“What happened to Erika?” he asks, and starts tidying shit up at this end of the checkin counter, because there are pens everywhere and it’s a mess and he knows it’ll drive him crazy all shift if he has to deal with this. </p><p>Allie scoffs as if she knows what he’s really asking. So what if she does? </p><p>“She wanted to switch. Hot date.”</p><p>Harry stacks up the little pads of sticky notes and asks, “No hot date for you this year?”</p><p>He didn’t just say that to remind her of how they spent this day last year. But then there’s a little pink in her cheeks and she tucks her hair behind her ear. Harry goes back to tidying and smiles to himself.</p><p>“Will’s working the dance later,” she explains. Harry nods but doesn’t say anything. He’s thinking about her being free, and how it must suck that her boyfriend is working, and he wonders what she’s going to do instead. “You ready to see who’s having affairs with who?”</p><p>Harry laughs out loud and looks over at her. He shrugs. He’s worked the front desk a few times; it’s pretty easy shit. He thinks the voyeuristic part of it is the weirdest thing. Like knowing who’s with who and how long they’re staying and noticing if they don’t leave their rooms. </p><p>Allie briefs him on how many reservations they have, and tells him they’re offering 10% off in-room dining, which <i>gross</i>, but whatever. Valentine’s last year was before she broke her leg, so they spent the day skiing, and then they both had class and a little homework and then he’d considered getting her something as a gift, but she made a comment about how she just wanted to be alone with him, and he knew what that meant. </p><p>Shit. This year, he still has the little gold pinky ring he got her for Christmas because he didn’t get a chance to give it to her before they ended things. It’s at home in his desk drawer in the little black box. It’s kind of a joke, because she likes to make fun of him for his pinky ring (though she started doing that less when she realized it was his dad’s, and that’s whose initials are monogrammed on it). But she wears all these random gold rings sometimes, stacks them or wears them in combinations that make her hands look cute. Most of hers are costumey, and he wanted her to have something nice, even if it felt fucking weird buying her a ring. </p><p>The lady with the multiple lovers is the first one to check in. She walks right up to him, not Allie, and totally fucking flirts with him as she gives her name and puts down her credit card. Like, she makes it very clear what her name is and that she’s got money and requires the utmost discretion. </p><p>Allie’s pressing her lips together so hard to keep from laughing, he thinks she’s gonna mess up her lipstick.</p><p>“Could you please be professional?” he says, teasingly, as the woman heads for the elevators, and Allie’s cheeks are red from suppressing her laughter. “You’re awful.”</p><p>Without hesitating, Allie replies, “You like it.”</p><p>Harry takes a breath and lets it out, and Allie’s smiling at him, and he goes back to work, smiling and welcoming the next guest who walks in. After that, it’s a pretty steady flow of people, and at one point they each have a line at least four deep. Harry isn’t quite as fast as Allie, but he’s not fucking up or getting any complaints, so he figures it’s okay. People keep slipping him bills as tips, and he notices Allie’s getting some, too. Mostly from dudes checking in with women, which Harry thinks is kind of fucking weird.</p><p>Every time Allie moves closer to the middle of the desk to run a key card through the magnetic thing that programs them, he can smell her perfume, or shampoo, or whatever it is that she’s always smelled like, and it’s driving him insane. When the line dies down a bit but they’re short a luggage attendant because Clark went on a much deserved break, Harry offers to help a couple with their bags, and Allie nods like she’ll be fine. They’re only on the third floor, so it shouldn’t take long. Before he gets back into the elevator, he takes a deep breath and tells himself to get his shit together.</p><p>Towards the end of their shift, when Harry’s starving and his voice is hoarse from talking so much, Will comes in from the dining room, smiling and wearing a suit that doesn’t fit him right, with a red rose on his lapel. Harry busies himself looking at his computer screen, checking to see how many more people are yet to turn up today.</p><p>“Sorry about tonight, babe,” he hears Will say, and like, things change, sure, but he knows Allie hates that shit. </p><p>Like, when they started sleeping together he asked her if she wanted him to call her something like, nicer than just her last name, or sometimes her first name. She’d laughed and said she thought pet names were kind of silly. She said her first boyfriend insisted on calling her ‘hon’ and she couldn’t stand it.</p><p>Maybe it’s different with Will. Harry tries to mind his own business. Allie is very much not his business.</p><p>“It’s okay,” she tells him, then puts her hand on his chest. Harry pulls out his phone, which is against the rules but only if there are guests around, and there aren’t right now. “You look nice.”</p><p>Will says, “Thanks,” and doesn’t repay a compliment, which makes Harry scoff.</p><p>He feels eyes on him, and makes it look like he’s laughing at something on his phone. </p><p>Becca’s sent him a picture of her and Eden eating a heart shaped chocolate chip cookie, so that’s cute. She also asks how his shift’s going, because he’d texted her on his break to let her know he was actually working with Allie instead of Erika. He updates her that Will’s a dweeb and she sends back the crying laughing emoji and tells him he should at least try not to be a dick. He <i>is</i> trying. He didn’t tell Allie or Will that, so like. Points, please.</p><p>Will kisses her right there at the front desk. Right in front of Harry. He thinks she doesn’t like that, if her body language is telling him anything. Which it is. Because he knows her, too. God, the first time Harry kissed her, she’d leaned into him and smiled against his mouth. This time, she’s leaning away from Will and has her hand on his chest, pushing gently. </p><p>Harry’s watching, so he should stop that, for sure. </p><p>She doesn’t say anything to him for a while after Will’s left. By the time they’re clocking out, she’s chewing her lip, which looks hot, especially with her lipstick. </p><p>Then she turns to him and says, “What are you doing right now?” </p><p>And like, he’s single and it’s Valentine’s Day. So. </p><p>“No plans.” She smiles cutely, which sort of kills him, and his heart’s racing a little at the thought of them spending the evening together, and… “Why?”</p><p>“I’m starving,” is her answer, and he laughs a little. “And I really want ramen, but Will doesn’t like it. Wanna go?”</p><p>Harry remembers one of their days off last year, when they spent hours skiing, and then went for ramen to warm up, their cheeks all red and chapped. They’d gone back to Allie’s apartment and she’d smoothed this fancy lotion onto his skin and then pressed him against her bathroom counter and told him she wanted him inside her. </p><p>Harry leans on the counter, sees Gordie, who’s taking over for them, walk in. “You wanna spend Valentine’s Day with me, Pressman?”</p><p>He doesn’t mean to be watching her chest and notice her breaths, but he is and he does, so there’s that. </p><p>But Allie’s always been able to hold her own, and shoots back, “Wouldn’t be the first time, Bingham.” </p><p>Ah. So she’s been thinking of last year, too. </p><p>She wipes her lipstick off with tissue using the vanity mirror of his car as he pulls out of the employee lot. It’s a shame. He tells her so, tells her it looked good on her. </p><p>He asks her about her classes this semester as he drives, and she talks to him about her environmental science major the way she always has. Which is to say that she doesn’t treat him like an idiot and oversimplify everything, but he doesn’t 100% get it all, but that’s kind of fine. He’s majoring in business admin and tells her he’s been approved to start his MBA next year, and she smiles and says she’s sticking around for grad school, too. Which is interesting. She tells him Will’s been taking an online course in event management, which Harry doesn’t give a shit about, but doesn’t say as much. The guy’s just boring, and Harry doesn’t see it, her with him, but it’s not his business, and this is the first time in a while that he and Allie have been able to talk without snapping at each other. He doesn’t want to ruin that by insulting her boyfriend.</p><p>He’s not stupid. This feels like a date for him, and part of the reason he’s not being an asshole is that he isn’t an asshole to people he’s on dates with. </p><p>Allie asks him how his Christmas break was, once they’re seated and have ordered. Harry takes a deep breath and wonders how much of the truth he should tell her. </p><p>“Spent most of it missing you, honestly.”</p><p>Okay, so. Fully truthful.</p><p>“Harry,” she says, shaking her head. He just shrugs. “Did you get any good gifts?”</p><p>He huffs out a laugh. Cool. So she doesn't want to talk about his feelings. He’s not totally surprised. </p><p>Whatever. He can go with it. </p><p>“Cash,” he says, because that’s mostly always what he gets, except for big things, like when he turned 20 and his mom gave him the Maserati, and he’s expecting something big for his graduation. “My sister gave me a whole box of really old books.”</p><p>Allie smiles, says, “You love really old books.”</p><p>God, she’s fucking pretty. </p><p>He thinks of the stupid gold ring at his house, and thinks he wants to give it to her anyway, because he bought it for her and he kind of just wants her to have it. </p><p>“I got you something,” he admits when their orders have arrived. </p><p>She smiles across the table, chopsticks in her hand, and asks, “What?” even though it’s clear she heard him and she likes what he said. He shrugs, grinning at her. “What is it?”</p><p>He’s shaking his head. He’s not just gonna tell her. If she finds out what it is, he wants it to be because she’s opening it, or whatever. She puts on this little pout that looks absolutely ridiculous and somehow is still adorable, and Harry laughs softly, shaking his head. </p><p>This is definitely not helping him get over her. And he doesn’t want to be the kind of guy who makes a move on her when she’s with someone else. He’s been that guy in the past, with another girl, and it didn’t go well. Harry was threatened to a fight that ultimately didn’t end up happening, but then the girl cheated on him, which felt like, somehow appropriate and exactly like what he deserved. He’s not 18 anymore and he doesn’t want to act like it. Plus, Allie deserves better than that. And he doesn’t even like Will, but he knows Will doesn’t deserve that shit, either. No one does. </p><p>He asks her about her break, even though he can imagine at least part of it was spent starting a relationship with Will. He also knows she went for a few days over Christmas to Manchester to see her parents and sister. She tells him it snowed almost the whole time she was gone, and she kept getting updates on the hill conditions because she never disabled the alert on her phone, and she just wanted to be skiing. Harry smiles at his bowl, because he had the same feelings, gets the same alerts, and more than once, he thought about being out there with her like they used to. </p><p>He pays, because there’s no way he’s gonna let her. She doesn’t complain or say anything about it at all, probably because she expected it. Their server tells them happy Valentine’s Day, and Allie smiles at him a little sadly, and he chooses to ignore that. He’s still having a good Valentine’s Day, even if they aren’t together and she isn’t coming home with him. </p><p>When he pulls up outside her apartment to drop her off, she plays with her keys in her hand and then looks over at him. </p><p>“Do you want to come up for a drink?”</p><p>Harry lets out his breath. Fuck. He <i>does</i>. He does want to come up for a drink, and he knows she knows exactly what she’s doing. He just doesn’t know what to think about these facts. He’s not saying sex is guaranteed if he goes upstairs, but he knows he’s going to want to. He fucking wants to right now. He kind of wants to always. It feels a little unfair of her to do this. He’s not the one stopping them. He’s not. It’s a little fucked that she’s gonna now get to act like he is. Which is maybe unfair of him to think, even. Whatever. This is a mess.</p><p>Either way, his answer is, “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” and Allie freezes. </p><p>“You’re right,” she says too fast, then gives a fake smile and looks at him. “Sorry. I…”</p><p>“It’s fine,” he says calmly, hoping she picks up on the fact that he means it. It’s okay. It doesn’t need to be a big deal. “Don’t worry about it, Pressman.”</p><p>Yeah, he threw that in just to make her smile, like he knew she would. And she does, which makes him feel <i>something</i>, and he looks down after he sees the little grin on her face. </p><p>“Thanks for dinner,” she tells him, then reaches for the door handle. “Happy Valentine’s, Bingham.”</p><p>Harry lets out a little laugh, nods, and then Allie leans across the console, presses a kiss to his cheek before getting out of his car. </p><p>Harry waits until she’s through the door before putting the car in drive. Mostly because he’s wondering, now, if he should have just fucking gone for it. Like, does he care about Will’s feelings? Not really. But he cares about his own, quite a lot, and he really doesn’t need any more reason to be hurt by this situation. He’s pretty sure that’s exactly what would have happened if he’d gone inside and done what he wanted. What maybe she wanted. Fuck. He’s not gonna pretend to be able to read her mind, though. But she knows him, right? Maybe, actually, she knows him well enough to know that he really wouldn’t help her cheat on her boyfriend. Maybe that’s worse. </p><p>He goes home, thinks about having a drink and then decides not to, and watches a documentary on Enron because he thinks it might bore him to sleep. It doesn’t. It doesn’t stop him thinking about Allie. Especially not when she texts him an hour after he’s dropped her off to thank him again for dinner and a fun evening.</p><p>He just replies, <i>’You too’</i>, because he doesn’t want to get into a whole conversation with her. The two previous texts were him messaging her and getting no reply. It’s a pretty harsh reminder, and one he absolutely needs. </p><p>… … …</p><p>He agrees to watch Becca’s kid for a couple hours because she’s got to finish her shift but Eden’s daycare provider is sick and sent everyone home. What happens is Harry’s shift is over and Becca calls to him from the dining room as he’s near the front desk on his way to the staff room. Allie’s there. She looks towards Becca and Harry throws Allie a little smile before walking towards the dining room. Allie tucks her hair behind her ear. Harry tries to think of how weird it would be if he messaged her after this to tell her he and Becca aren’t hooking up. Probably super weird. </p><p>Eden is sitting at a table with a colouring book and some crayons, and Becca’s looking a little frantic as she tells him what’s going on. Then she says, “Are you...could you watch her?”</p><p>Harry freezes, looks at Eden, who’s happily scribbling on a page with a butterfly on it. </p><p>He wants to say no, but he doesn’t want to leave his friend stuck, so he nods. He doesn’t have a class till this evening, and if he’s being honest he was just gonna go home and nap a while before maybe doing some reading. So no, he’s not busy, and he thinks being someone’s friend means helping people when they ask and you can do it. Lord knows he’s wished in the past that he had someone to have his back. </p><p>So that’s how he ends up in this corner table of the dining room, where Becca has already cleared with management that it’s okay Eden hang out til Becca’s off. Harry grabs some lunch - and he’s really thankful they never have to pay, cause the owner gives them a per diem when they’re on shift - and then talks to Eden as she colours. He figures she’s gonna get bored of this eventually, but he’ll deal with that when the time comes. </p><p>Allie walks in just after Eden has asked him to help her with the tulips, which she doesn’t pronounce right and but points to the daisies on the page, so he’s smiling because that was cute, and holding a purple crayon - her request - and colouring with her as she chatters away at him. </p><p>Allie gets a tea and then comes over, smiles at him and sits down across from him and Eden. </p><p>“Who’s your new friend?” she asks, and Harry rolls his eyes playfully and like, stops colouring for a minute. </p><p>“This is Eden,” he says, and then, because he knows it’s not a secret, “Becca’s daughter.”</p><p>“Ah,” Allie says, and then leans over to get a better look at the pages. “Nice work.”</p><p>He isn’t sure if she’s talking to him or Eden. It’s stupid for him to hope it’s him. </p><p>Eden looks up and says hi, and then pushes a blue crayon towards Allie, and like. Why is this so cute? He is too young to be thinking this is cute.</p><p>He’s about to ask Allie how much longer she’s on, but Will walks out from the back and immediately gets a sour look on his face when he sees them. Harry nods his head in Will’s direction, and Allie turns, takes a breath Harry thinks means she’s annoyed, or not looking forward to this, or something. </p><p>“Hey guys,” Will says, coming over and dropping a kiss to Allie’s hair, his hand on her back. </p><p>Harry carries on with his purple daisy. Eden says something about wanting to get yellow mittens. It’s random as hell, but he can focus on that and not this gross thing he thinks Will’s doing. </p><p>“Just taking a break,” Allie says, smiling up at the guy. “I was going to come say hi. I got distracted by this cutie.”</p><p>Okay, yeah. Again, not sure she’s talking about him, or Eden. He looks at her from under his lashes just in time to see her grin at him. Still not an answer, but she looks hot doing it. </p><p>“Right,” Will says, giving Harry a look that Harry definitely doesn’t appreciate. Like, fuck this guy. “I’ve got a client visit for that retirement party.”</p><p>Harry 100% thinks Will only says it like that to prove that he and Allie talk about things Harry can’t know about, and like. He doesn’t care? Why would he care? And why would he think, at this point, that they didn’t do that? Will’s an idiot. He’s decided. </p><p>Allie just says, “Good luck,” and smiles up at Will, and Harry looks at Eden so he doesn’t look like a smug asshole at her response. </p><p>Eden’s talking about her picture, saying they need green clouds because maybe that’s how the grass gets green, and Will walks away, and Harry looks at Allie like he knows she’s just dying to tell this literal child about photosynthesis, or something. </p><p>But Allie stands, gives him a pretty smile and says, “I’ll talk to you later?” as if she really wants to, and Harry nods and says, “See you around, Pressman,” because it’s funny to him to talk like that when he’ll literally see her in an hour or so when he goes to leave, or whatever. </p><p>It happens sooner, when Eden’s said she’s tired and he asks her what she wants to do instead and she yawns and rubs her little eye, and then pushes herself all up on him and he remembers when his sister was little, and pulls her up onto his lap and she settles in the crook of his arm. She’s probably too big for this and doesn’t need to sit on someone to fall asleep, but whatever. There’s nowhere really for her to lie down, and he could take her to the couch in the break room, but that seems weird. Becca had said they could stay here, and he thinks it’d be messed up if he moved her kid to a different location. </p><p>Allie walks in when Eden’s fast asleep on him. She gets this really soft look on her face, and she’s just returning her tea cup, but she looks at him again before she leaves, and yeah, he’s watching her, too, so that’s…</p><p>He likes the way Allie looks at him and always has. </p><p>Becca walks in after her shift and tilts her head when she sees them, says, “Oh, you are <i>such</i> a sucker,” and like, she’s probably right and there’re probably a lot of reasons for that. </p><p>But then she also thanks him sincerely, packs up all Eden’s stuff and he sort of gently wakes the kid up. As they leave, he stands and stretches and twists his back a little, and then when he walks into the staff room, Allie’s there, pulling her stuff from her cubby and getting ready to go. </p><p>“Sorry about earlier,” she says, and he’s a little confused. “Will.”</p><p>“Oh.” Why’s she apologizing for someone else? That's kind of bullshit. </p><p>“He’s...I told him about Valentine’s Day. He was a little jealous.”</p><p>Harry scoffs. Like, forgive him for not giving a shit if Will’s been a little jealous. Harry’s been feeling that for way too close to two months, every time he sees them together. </p><p>“You don’t have to apologize for him,” he says, and then leans against the wall and adds, “And if he’s being an asshole about who you spend time with, that’s pretty messed up.”</p><p>She isn’t looking at him, but he thinks she’s avoiding him because she knows he’s right, and knowing her, she’s also had the thought before he even said it. </p><p>“Anyway, I’ll talk to him,” she says, and Harry laughs a little, reaches for his jacket. </p><p>“You don’t need to defend me, or whatever,” he says, and it’s true. He’s got a feeling that won’t go over well with Will, who, the more Harry learns about, the less he likes. But also: “Do you regret it?”</p><p>She’s shaking her head before he’s finished the question. “No.” </p><p>Yeah, he looks down a little when he smiles, because he can’t keep looking at her right now. It’s making him feel a lot of shit he shouldn’t. Like how easy it’d be to tell her to dump this guy, and separately (or maybe not) that she should come home with him right now. But both of those are jackass moves and she still doesn’t deserve it. </p><p>… … …</p><p>The sun is high in the sky and it’s a Sunday afternoon, and drinking one of the craft beers they’ve been pushing in the bar this season actually sounds fucking amazing right now. He’s sweating under his gear and sees the heat lamps working on the patio off the main room of the resort, people eating and drinking there. </p><p>After he’s left his skis and poles in the staff shed and swapped his boots out for his black leather ones, and tossed his show pants over his shoulder so he’s just left in jeans, he heads for the patio. He loves this, honestly. He remembers coming here with his dad when he was a kid, getting hot chocolate or cider and a snack and sitting outside in the sun even though it was cold out. The decor’s been changed, updated, but any time he comes up here, it makes him think of skiing with his dad when he was a kid. </p><p>Today, though, after he’s already paid for his beer and turns around to find a seat, he sees Allie and Will at a table in the corner by one of the heat lamps. She’s got a glass of white wine in front of her, her face all red and lines still on her cheeks from her goggles. She’s smiling and Will’s saying something to her, then pushing her hair off her face, and Harry just...They look happy. <i>She</i> looks happy. She looks seriously just so content to be sitting here having a nice afternoon with her boyfriend. </p><p>She and Harry never really did shit like this. Not even because they didn’t want a bunch of people at work to know they were together, but because he’s got a stocked bar at his place, and she loves his place and his back deck, and they liked being alone together. They’d go out for dinner or whatever pretty regularly, but they didn’t like, do <i>this</i> at the resort. </p><p>For some reason, this is the first time he thinks this could maybe be for the best. But then he tells himself to shut up, because it doesn’t <i>feel</i> anything close to <i>best</i>. Shit, maybe Becca’s right and he just needs to find someone else to hook up with. Maybe that’ll make him feel better. </p><p>He just doesn’t want anyone else. What the hell’s he supposed to do with that?</p><p>They don’t see him, and he finds an empty stool along the east side of the patio, where there’s a live edge table, and enjoys his beer looking out over the mountain. They’re still sitting there when he gets up to leave. He thinks Allie notices him, but he’s trying really hard not to look at her, so he can’t be too sure.</p><p>… … …</p><p>Becca’s giving him coffee for free now, and then admits she should’ve been doing it all along because as of January 1st, staff aren’t expected to pay for non alcoholic beverages from any vendor on the resort. He must’ve missed that in the staff email. She laughs at him and shrugs her shoulder when he tells her she’s awful. </p><p>“What are you doing later?” she asks, and Harry raises his brow and leans towards her. </p><p>“Who wants to know?”</p><p>Becca leans a little out the window of the canteen, her eyes sliding to his right. “Allie’s eavesdropping,” she says super quietly.</p><p>Harry scoffs, puts the lid on his coffee cup. Allie’s heading for the lift and if he times it right, maybe he could see the cute little look she gets on her face right before she starts down the hill. </p><p>No. Fuck. What the hell’s wrong with him? </p><p>“So you wanna make her think I’m going on a date with you, even though I’ve already told her you and I are just friends? How does that help me?” He laughs, shakes his head. </p><p>Becca shrugs, smiles a little deviously. “She had a pretty sour look on her face. Don’t think she liked it much.”</p><p>For some reason, Allie’s alleged reaction pisses him off. No, not for some reason. He knows the exact reason.</p><p>“If she doesn’t want me to go on dates with other people, she could just date me herself. She can’t have it both ways,” he says, and then Becca seems to realize this isn’t like, a fun experiment for him, and her face softens a little. “Anyway, thanks for the coffee.”</p><p>“Wait.” He stops, looks at her. “I’m sorry. I...I dunno. I think…”</p><p>“What?” he asks, and then she looks to make sure no one else is around. Probably, that Allie won’t hear. </p><p>“I think your feelings are more than you let on,” she says, and he just huffs a laugh and gives her a look. </p><p>“No shit.”</p><p>Becca smiles at him, her eyes sparkling with something, and then as he’s walking away, she says, “Oh my god, Harry!” </p><p>Which basically means nothing, but Allie looks over her shoulder, and he turns and smiles at Becca and then tries to ignore Allie, and like…</p><p>This is so fucking stupid. It isn’t junior high. He doesn’t need his friend to run interference to get Allie’s attention. </p><p>No, he thinks he gets that - scraps of it, anyway - easily enough. </p><p>As they’re waiting for the lift, Allie says, “Becca seems really fun.”</p><p>Harry replies, “She is,” and lets her think whatever she wants to about that, because he’s just...He doesn’t have it in him to play this fucking game, but he doesn’t have it in him to lose face, either. But he adds, “We’re just friends,” because it seems important. </p><p>Allie rubs her lips together, looks to the ground, and says, “Okay,” like maybe it’s important to her, too. </p><p>Which helps him exactly not at all. </p><p>… … …</p><p>When he comes in to work next, there’re three ginger molasses cookies in a container in his cubby with a purple sticky note on top and a note in her handwriting that says, <i>I made too many. -A</i></p><p>Ginger molasses cookies are his favourite. The first time she made them and brought them to work, he kissed her in the staff room and told her this fact. He’s loved them since he was a kid and his nanny used to make them for him.</p><p>He takes a bite and heads back out to the lobby, and she smiles when she sees him with the cookie in his hand. There are no guests, so he leans his elbow on the counter, stands across from her, and says, “Thanks,” with a smile, and she pushes her hair behind her ear. </p><p>Interesting. </p><p>“I made them for my study group.”</p><p>“Mhm.” Yeah, he doesn’t believe it. Well, he believes it, but he also thinks she could’ve made a different kind and she didn’t. He’s not stupid.</p><p>“Harry, stop.”</p><p>Yeah, her cheeks are pink and she looks a little embarrassed, and <i>that’s</i> cute as hell.</p><p>“They’re really good,” he says, and she looks up at him again. She locks eyes with him and gives him this little smile like she used to, so that’s...really something. </p><p>“I’m glad you like them.”</p><p>He walks away before they both get into trouble for making this something it isn’t.</p><p>… … ...</p><p>The spring staff party always happens at the beginning of March, and sort of signals the end of the busy ski season. From here on out, the conditions will be worse and worse, and lessons will slow down, and the number of days left to ski are pretty limited. And it’s not even a good party. They have it in the hotel bar, and the food is just okay, if he’s being really honest, but there’s always an open bar and shit gets a little wild and definitely messy. Harry remembers last year, Allie in this black dress that was more sweet than hot, her sipping Jameson all night and then leaning up against him in the hallway when no one else was around and saying he should take her home. </p><p>This year, he shows up with Becca, who’s wearing jeans and a blazer and looking cute, and he’s got on a pale blue button down because it was the one he grabbed, and when they walk in, they see Will stressing about something and Allie over by the bar talking to Gordie and Grizz. She looks like she’s having fun, and Will looks annoyed, and Becca says something about that guy looking like about as much fun as the hangover she’s going to have tomorrow. Harry laughs too loudly and Allie looks over, smiles at him and gives him a little wave.</p><p>“At least get me a drink before you ditch me for your ex,” Becca says, loops her arm through his. </p><p>Harry gives her a shitty look. “I’m not gonna ditch you, and she’s not my ex.”</p><p>Then it’s Becca laughing too loudly, and Allie looks over at that, too. Harry gets her a double gin and tonic like she asks, and he thinks she’s playing this all wrong. When it’s open bar and your boss is paying, you go for the shit you wouldn’t normally get yourself. Not that this logic really applies to him, because he can sort of always just get whatever he wants, but still. He upgrades her from bar rail, and gets himself a double of the best bourbon they have here. Luke, the bartender, is a decent guy and pours a little extra into both drinks, tells Harry it’s kind of crap that he has to work, but like, someone has to, right? </p><p>Becca’s now talking with Grizz and Gordie, and Allie’s next to Harry at the bar asking for a refill. Harry turns to her, leans his elbow on the bar and smiles. </p><p>“You look hot,” he tells her, and she lets out a laugh and pins him with a look. He shrugs. “You do.”</p><p>“Thanks,” she says, and Harry takes another look at her in these dark jeans and black off the shoulder sweater. She’s wearing the red lipstick again. “You look nice, too.” Luke slides her drink across the bar, then heads over to tend to someone else. Allie looks up at him, and <i>shit</i>, he <i>knows</i> this look. It’s sexy as hell and signals she’s about to say something he’s gonna like. “You know I love this shirt.”</p><p>Harry sucks in a breath. Shit. He didn’t even think of that, miraculously, when he pulled it on. But this is the one she took off him one night at her place and then wore in the morning while she made toast and coffee. He remembers the way it slipped down her shoulder, the way she had nothing underneath, the way he took it off her. </p><p>He clears his throat and she laughs softly, and then Will’s coming over and Harry just...can’t do this right now. </p><p>He walks away without saying anything, because he wouldn’t have been able to make it something decent, anyway, and he’s sure as hell not gonna do that when her fucking boyfriend is right there.</p><p>He heads back over to Becca and suggests they just get a table and get drunk as hell, and she puts her hands on his shoulders and says, “Yes, Harry. <i>Yes</i>.”</p><p>So that’s exactly what they do. The food’s better this year, which he imagines is Will’s doing, but Harry’s not gonna give any credit there, becuase fuck that guy. Becca’s getting them more food and Harry’s getting them more drinks, and he’s definitely pacing himself more than he thought he would. When he returns to the table, Becca’s there with a plate of appetizers, a little basket of fresh fries, two tacos, and a chocolate cupcake. She just shrugs her shoulder like she’s not going to explain herself to him. </p><p>Allie walks over with Grizz, sits down and steals some fries, and Harry just grins at her and turns in his chair so he can see her better. </p><p>“After party at yours?” she asks, and Grizz is nodding like they’ve been conspiring. Harry shakes his head, though. This seems like a bad idea. </p><p>Becca explains that her mom’s watching Eden for the night, and though she’s staying over, Becca definitely doesn’t want to take advantage by staying out all night. So the idea sort of goes to hell, because three people do not a party make, and then Grizz says something about it probably being for the best, says something else about getting another round, and then Allie’s calling them all buzzkills. Which is sort of hilarious, because each and every one of them is well on their way to drunk and it’s not even 10pm, and Grizz is quite literally getting them more alcohol.</p><p>Sometime around midnight, Becca’s saying she should get going and really it’s just their table, Will and Luke left (well, them and a bunch of the heavy machinery crew who’ve been drinking shitty beer like they do every night). If Becca’s going, he might go, too. She’s sort of his life line right now, especially since Will pulled up a chair and is sipping a Stella and keeps reaching for Allie’s hand, despite the fact that she keeps pulling it away to gesture all big like she’s always done when she’s drinking. This feels like some kind of pissing contest Harry didn’t agree to and doesn’t want to be in. After a bit, Allie asks Will to get some air with her, so they get up and walk away, and Becca gives Harry this <i>look</i> he doesn’t want to deal with, and he decides to leave once he’s finished this drink. He brought a joint with him, but didn’t feel like sharing with this whole group and getting a shitty high as a result, so he kind of just wants to go home, smoke on his back deck, and then hang out a bit before going to bed. </p><p>He makes sure Becca gets into her Uber safely, then orders one for himself. Just as he’s opening the door, Allie calls his name, and she’s kind of jogging towards him with her coat unzipped. This is confusing, and he tells the driver to hang on just a sec. Allie looks…<i>something</i> other than just a little drunk. </p><p>“Can I come with you?” she asks, eyes pleading, and he doesn’t know what this is about, but they’re alone now and his head isn’t clear enough to make him say no.</p><p>It’s a 20 minute drive to his place, and it’s awkward as fuck. The driver makes the most conversation, saying something about this season having been good to him with events and whatever at the resort. Harry tries to give just the most basic responses, because he doesn’t want to be a dick. He tells the guy this was the staff party, and the guy looks in the rearview at the two of them as if he knows what’s happening, but that kind of pisses Harry off, because it’s a big assumption to make. Like, he and Allie aren’t just two coworkers who’re about to hook up because they’re drunk. In the past, that would’ve been a fair assumption. It’s not now.</p><p>As he’s trying to unlock his front door, Allie’s bouncing on the balls of her feet, cutely telling him how cold she is, which makes him laugh. It is fucking frigid for this time of year, which he’s sort of hoping means the season will be longer than they’d all expected it’d be. As soon as they’re inside, she shrugs her coat off and then slips her arms under his jacket and around him, her cheek against his chest, and like…</p><p>“Allie,” he laughs softly.</p><p>She puts her hand on his chest, then gives him a <i>look</i>, and reaches into his pocket, pulls out the joint. “You were keeping secrets.” He wants to ask what the fuck she’s doing here, but instead he shrugs his shoulder. “Will you share with me?”</p><p>He answers, “Yeah,” because it’s a no brainer, and honestly, he could go for a little something to make all this feel less fucking intense. </p><p>He grabs her coat, and she puts it on and they track wet footprints through the house to the huge doors that lead to the back patio. He switches on the lights out there, and Allie sucks in a little contented breath. This was always her favourite part of this house. She loves the cedar deck, and the fire pit, and the comfortable chairs, and the globe lights that are out here, and the way the trees line the property. She loves the way the soft lighting makes the snow all pretty and always used to laugh and make fun of him for taking pictures of her out here, because she looks good as hell in this lighting, too. So yeah, she’d make fun of him, but then ask him to airdrop the photos, so. </p><p>He sees her eyeing the hot tub, but he can’t think of <i>that</i> right now, so he just sparks the lighter, takes a hit, and passes the joint her way.</p><p>Her hand is shaking when she takes it. </p><p>“Allie, what are we doing?” he asks, because yeah, he can’t take it anymore, and he should’ve waited for the high to hit and convinced himself this isn’t anything, but it <i>feels</i> like something, and he doesn’t want to ignore that. </p><p>She blows smoke upward, keeps her head back and looks up at the stars.</p><p>“I ended it with Will.” </p><p>Harry freezes, his hand holding the joint when she passes back to him. “What?”</p><p>“Mhm. I just...I was sitting between you two and I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want him there. And then he said something about how I shouldn’t be talking to you, and I kind of snapped.”</p><p>Harry’s just looking at her. She finally glances over at him, her eyes all soft like she’s afraid of what he’s going to say. </p><p>“I mean, that is bullshit and like, super fucked up.”</p><p>“I know. I was already...When you said it after Valentine’s. I just didn’t want to be too harsh. And we talked about it and he apologized. But tonight he tried to make me feel badly for not letting him hold my hand all night. Which pissed me off.” Harry snorts out a laugh, inhales and she takes the joint from him before he offers it. “And I realized the reason I didn’t want to is because of you.”</p><p>“Oh,” he says, and then feels like an idiot for this reaction, and then also really processes her words and like, what is she saying? “Allie, are you…”</p><p>She has the joint between her lips when she takes her jacket off, and like, <i>hot as fuck</i>, but then she’s taking off her little lace up boots, too, and she says, “Let’s get into the hot tub.”</p><p>And she’s now unbuttoning her jeans, and he’s just not strong enough to say no. He takes the joint from right between her lips, puts it in his own, and tries hard to ignore the hot look on her face. He manages to look away just as she’s pushing her jeans off her hips, and starts taking the cover off the hot tub, then shrugs his own coat off. Allie, standing there in her black strapless bra and matching underwear, grabs the joint back and plucks at his shirt with her thumb and forefinger. </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>He buys time by tossing all their shit inside and grabbing towels from where he keeps them just inside the door. Then he undresses and like, yeah, he could go to his room and get some swim shorts, but that feels dumb. He’s left in just his navy boxer briefs and then gets them each a splash of scotch. </p><p>Allie’s in the water, blowing smoke past her lips, and fucking hell, this is all such a bad idea. He drops the towels on the deck where it’s dry, and passes her the drink before getting into the water with her. </p><p>Allie reaches over, the joint in her hand, and puts it between his lips. He just looks at her darkly and she takes a sip, never taking her eyes off him. </p><p>“What are we doing?” he asks, tossing the roach over into the snow, and then going back to watching Allie. Which is just. So easy. </p><p>“Getting high and hanging out?” she says, and Harry laughs, because like, yeah, but...No, you know what? If this is what she’s telling him, it’s what he’s gonna believe. It’s nothing more than the exact, literal thing she just described. </p><p>He really doesn’t have it in him to get his hopes up and then be disappointed again. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“You know, this might be my favourite place in the world,” she tells him, and Harry lets out a little noise. </p><p>“Better than the mountain?”</p><p>“Mm. It’s close.” He’s just watching her. Her hair’s all piled up on her head, curling at the edges just the way he likes. Her eyes are a little glassy and her lipstick is still intact, miraculously, which is sort of making him crazy. “I love it here.”</p><p>“You only come over for the deck?” he asks, and he’s grinning because he knows it’s stupid. </p><p>But Allie leans her head back against the edge of the tub and looks at him. “And the company. The substances don’t hurt.”</p><p>Harry huffs a laugh and holds his glass to his lips. He wishes he could make this feeling go away. This like, tense, buzzy thing that’s happening where he feels like his skin’s tingling with all the possibilities between them. Jesus Christ, what is he talking about? That’s gotta just be the weed. </p><p>After a minute of silence, he feels like he has to ask. </p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>She nods, smiles, then lets out this little laugh. “Honestly, I feel fucking fantastic.” Yeah, that’s <i>definitely</i> the weed. He must look as skeptical as he feels, because she shakes her head and moves even closer to him. “I do. I...that feels like a longer conversation than I want to have right now. But I’m ending the night where I wanted to.”</p><p>Harry clenches his teeth. He really doesn’t want to get his hopes up. </p><p>“The hot tub,” he says, making her laugh. He smiles, all soft, at the sound, and then her hand is moving across his shoulders and she’s <i>right there</i> next to him, their thighs brushing under the water. </p><p>She says, “With you,” and he can’t take his fucking eyes off her. </p><p>Then Allie leans in, puts her wet hand on his face, and he really shouldn’t let her do this. He should stop her before she presses her lips to his, before his hand finds her waist under the water. He should definitely not let out this little sound like he’s been fucking <i>waiting</i> to kiss her since the last time he did. And he definitely should stop her before she puts her knees on either side of him and her tongue presses into his mouth and she shivers from the cold or <i>something</i>. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t do any of that. He just kisses her back, touches her skin, tilts his head back so the angle feels so <i>fucking</i> good, and then looks up at her when she pulls away just a little. </p><p>She asks, “Is this okay?” and he wants to say no. </p><p>Seriously. </p><p>He kind of feels like she’s just dicking him around, but then again, he also knows her, right? Like, he thinks he does. She wants to be here, so she’s here. She didn’t want to be with Will anymore, so she’s not. She wanted to kiss him, so she did. </p><p>The thing is, he’s kind of tired of not getting a say, okay? No. No, let him be honest. He’s kind of tired of wasting his chances to say what he feels. This whole thing could’ve been avoided if he’d just told her before how much he liked her. Maybe. Maybe she still would’ve stopped it. But at least if she’d done that and he’d said how he felt, he’d have a reason to be a hard no now on her trying to hook up with him again. Like, if she’d known, and been with someone else anyway, he definitely wouldn’t fucking let her come back to him like this, like nothing’s changed.</p><p>“You know I want you,” he says softly, and she lets out this little hum and rests more weight on him, which <i>fuck</i>, but also <i>wait</i>. “I’ve wanted you. I didn’t want to stop, or go on a break, or whatever.” Her eyes are just searching his face, like she wasn’t expecting this. “It sucks you didn’t just tell me you wanted a boyfriend.”</p><p>“I…”</p><p>“Like, do you just not want me?” he asks, cutting her off, and it sounds fucking pathetic, even to him, but then her shoulders sag a bit and she gets this sad look on her face like she pities him, or something. Fuck. He shouldn’t have said that. </p><p>She puts her hands on his shoulders and leans back a bit, sits on his knees, and now maybe she looks mad at him. She’s still on top of him, so he’s got to assume it’s not all bad. And if she’s mad at him for being honest with her, then like, maybe fuck her.</p><p>“Harry,” she breathes out. He looks away from her face, sees the goosebumps on her skin from the cold. “I did. I do.” He wants to believe her, but like, she broke up with him and then dated someone else pretty much immediately. She puts her hands back up on his face so he’ll look at her. “I just convinced myself you didn’t want something serious. The week before break, I said something about introducing you to my family and you said <i>’Why would we do that?’</i> and I just…”</p><p>Shit. <i>Shit</i>. He remembers that conversation. They were talking about each of their travel plans, and how much they were going to miss each other, and she’d said something about how her dad would probably really like him because he’s a ski bum, too. Then she said something about how it’d be nice if they could all get together, even though it wasn’t an option. He doesn’t know why that was his reply. Actually, he thinks he was flipping out a little at the thought of introducing Allie to <i>his mom</i>, and how fucking judgemental the woman would be, and how it’d make them both feel like shit, and so…</p><p>God, that didn’t mean he wasn’t serious about her or couldn’t be. He gets why it was shitty of him to say that, and why she’d interpret it the way she did. </p><p>Are they really this stupid? </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he says, because she deserves it and he means it. </p><p>“I should’ve told you. I was just embarrassed for letting things drag out for so long, and then feeling like you didn’t...That it would never be anything more than casual.”</p><p>Harry nods. He doesn’t really know what to say to that. Except, “But it was,” because that feels true, too. </p><p>She nods her head again, and then laughs a little and reaches up, wipes at his bottom lip, and <i>oh yeah</i>, her bright red lipstick. She’s a little smudged, too, he just thinks it looks hot.</p><p>“You could’ve said something, too,” she tells him quietly, and she’s right about that, also. He could have. He just…</p><p>“I’ve kinda got a thing about feeling like no one gives a fuck.” It’s almost a whisper, because it feels like way too fucking much, when they’re in their underwear in the hot tub and they’re both high and buzzed and his thumbs are stroking her skin, and he just…</p><p>Maybe he’s fucking in love with her, or something.</p><p>Allie smiles at him softly, strokes his cheekbone with her thumb, then leans in to kiss him all slow, moves closer again, further up his thighs. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” </p><p>He nods in response, wonders if she’d be pissed if he took her hair down, and then when he puts his hand up onto the back of her neck, she shivers again and her eyes slip closed, and she looks like, criminally good like this. Jesus, he’s never felt this way about someone.</p><p>He kisses her first this time, the first time tonight, and then he’s hit with this heady feeling of her and the warm water and the cool air and the little sound she makes when he takes her bottom lip between his teeth. </p><p>When she says, “I want you,” it’s against his lips and there are a few meanings he can hear in those few words, and god, he wants her, too, but…</p><p>“We shouldn’t.” When she pouts, she looks fucking adorable and sexy and her fingers dig into his skin. “You’re barely single and we’re both fucked up.”</p><p>Honestly, if he’d known this was how the night would unfold, he never would’ve taken a drink.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have ever been with him.”</p><p>Harry laughs a little, cups his hands and brings warm water up and lets it fall over her shoulders where he can tell she’s cold and just too stubborn to move. She lets out a little sound at that, too.</p><p>“Not sure that changes facts, Pressman.”</p><p>She lets out a legitimate moan, and then tugs his hair a bit, which sort of makes him laugh. He’s not gonna lie, he feels fucking fantastic that she wants him this badly. There’s nothing bad about it, honestly. She looks truly incredible and disappointed that they’re not going to sleep together, and how in the world could he take that poorly, you know? He just cares about this too much to rush it now. This isn’t like them returning from break and wanting to fuck. This is very much not that.</p><p>She smiles at him, so maybe she realizes all this, too, and then says, “You’re a tease, Bingham.”</p><p>And like. Fuck. </p><p>His fingers dig into her hips, which he thinks they both like a whole lot, and then he lowers his voice a little, because he knows she likes that, too. </p><p>“When I heard you call him by his last name, that made me fucking crazy.”</p><p>Allie looks apologetic again, her eyes all soft, but then pushes closer, so her stomach is all pressed against his torso and her arms are around his neck. </p><p>“I’m awful. I’ll make it up to you.”</p><p>He laughs again. She’s <i>really</i> trying to get him to give her what she wants, isn’t she? </p><p>“I’ll hold you to that,” he says, and then watches her look at his lips, and his fingers are itching to reach for the clasp of her bra, but he doesn’t really want to tease her. Not like this. “Come on. You’re cold.”</p><p>She’s laughing when she says, “You could warm me up,” because she probably knows that’s dumb, and she definitely knows by now that he’s being serious about not sleeping together tonight. God. She’s gotta know he wants to.</p><p>Instead, he kisses her quickly, pushes her off his lap and ignores the hell out of the little whine she lets out. He gets out of the hot tub, reaches for a towel and wraps it around himself, then opens the other one and holds it up for her. She gets out, lets him wrap her up in it, leans up on her toes to kiss him again when his arms are around her. He then reaches for the glasses, hands them to her, and then turns to put the cover back on the hot tub. </p><p>“I’ll be in your bed,” she says, looking at him over his shoulder, and then laughing when he just stares at her. </p><p>God, she makes him insane. </p><p>When he gets to his room, she’s in his bed, in that blue shirt, her hair down and messy on the pillow, and Harry just takes a deep breath and grabs a pair of pants to sleep in. When he steps into the bathroom, her bra and underwear are drying on the edge of his tub, and he steadies himself with his hands on the counter. He knows he’s smiling, but doesn’t want to look at himself in the mirror, because he feels like a jackass for being this happy when he knows there’s a lot more they have to sort out and he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. </p><p>She moves towards him as soon as he’s under the duvet, slides her hand across his stomach and then up his chest, and sounds all cute and sleepy when she tells him he looks really good. </p><p>… … …</p><p>He wakes up to her lips against his chest, her hair tickling his arm, and the smell of her shampoo or whatever and chlorine. Her fingers drag along his hip and he thinks she’s trying to fucking kill him. When she notices he’s awake, she pulls away a little, smiles at him. The sun’s coming through the big window behind her, because they didn’t bother closing the curtains last night. She looks kind of incredible. Harry just moves a hand into her hair and takes a deep breath. </p><p>She says, “Let’s go skiing,” and that’s...not super high on the list of things he wants to do with her this second, but then, when he comes to his senses, he figures it’s definitely still too early to have sex, and like, what even <i>are </i>they?</p><p>Then she’s kissing him fast, getting out of bed, and his shirt moves <i>just so</i> and he gets a glimpse of her ass, and he presses his head back against the pillows, because...Why are they waiting? Why does he want to wait? </p><p>She steps out of the bathroom a few minutes later with her bra and underwear on and his shirt over her shoulders but unbuttoned. </p><p>“Allie, fuck,” he breathes, leaning up on his elbow. She gives him this sexy little look and comes over, gets on top of him with the duvet between them, and presses her hands against his chest. His find her waist under his shirt. “We could stay here. I’ll make breakfast. I’ll do whatever you want as long as you look like this.”</p><p>Her brow goes up and her eyes are a little dark. “Whatever I want?” she asks lowly, and <i>shit</i>. “Promise?”</p><p>“No,” he says, but his voice is hoarse and she laughs a little, leans down just so and kisses him slow and heady. </p><p>“Breakfast, then skiing. Then we both get what we want.” He lets out a low sound and she bites her bottom lip just a little, which… “We both get...something but not everything we want.”</p><p>He figures now’s a good chance to remind her what he <i>really</i> wants. </p><p>“I just wanna be with you,” he says, and she smiles all big, but then reins it in, leans down and brushes her lips against his. He clarifies, “Together.”</p><p>Allie nods, then sits back, then gets off of him completely. “I want that, too, and I’m really trying to respect that you want to wait, but god, Harry…You should know that’s really fucking difficult when you look like <i>that</i>.”</p><p>So yeah, they’re in exactly the same boat.</p><p>He sits up, pushes her hair back and sets his hand on her neck. “Think of how fucking good it’ll be.” </p><p>She closes her eyes and lets out a breath and Harry’s absolutely playing himself.</p><p>Later, when they’re on the hill and she gets that look on her face he loves just after she’s agreed to race him and then tricked him into giving her a head start, he’s thinking maybe he’s never had this much fun with another person. And then when he lets her win and catches up to her at the bottom, she’s a little pissed at him for going easy on her and insists on a do over. He wins three in a row, like he knew he would, honestly, and then she’s saying her leg’s kind of hurting and they call it a day.</p><p>“My place?” she asks as they put their gear away, and he just gives her a look. “I’ll make grilled cheese and soup and we can watch something cute.”</p><p>Without thinking, he says, “You’re cute.”</p><p>“Well then, you can watch me.”</p><p>Harry walked directly into that one. </p><p>He checks his phone as they walk back to his car, and he’s got three messages from Becca. The first one, she’s saying that someone told her they saw him and Allie getting into the same car last night. The second one is just <i>’What the FUCK’</i>, and the third is telling him their friendship is over if he doesn’t tell her what’s going on within the next two hours. </p><p>He shows Allie, who laughs and shakes her head, and Harry just holds up his phone to take a picture of them. Allie’s hair’s glowing a little, and the mountain is behind them, and they both pull faces because they both hate posing for pictures. They look stupid and happy and he sends it to Becca, knowing it doesn’t answer her question at all, but it gives her something to go on, anyway. </p><p>Harry eats grilled cheese and tomato soup and Allie’s cold feet are tucked up under his thigh as she puts Coco on. </p><p>… … …</p><p>Two weeks later, he feels like he’s in more of a relationship with her now than he ever was before. Which sort of makes sense, because they’ve had a lot to talk about and clear up, and they’ve been doing that a lot. Talking. And like, it’s pretty clear he’s always <i>liked</i> her, but these two weeks have been a really good reminder of why. They aren’t sleeping together, so it feels...different. Better, sometimes, if he’s being honest. And like, they’ve shared a bed a few times, because it gets late, or whatever, and that blue shirt is practically hers now, which is also really fine. </p><p>She told him her class ended at 5:00 and she was coming over. But it started to snow at like 4:00 as he was leaving work, and it’s 6:00 now, and he’s a little worried because he knows she doesn’t like driving in the snow. He should’ve just said he’d pick her up. </p><p>She walks in, shakes the snow from her hair and smiles at him where he’s standing in the kitchen fixing himself a drink to calm his nerves. Which is maybe stupid, but whatever. He’s just glad she’s here, and even if her hands are shaking a little when she puts them on his face, he can tell she’s fine. </p><p>She picks up his drink off the counter, her other arm still over his shoulder, and takes a long drink. It’s so sexy, <i>she’s</i> so sexy, and he flexes his fingers on her waist when he notices she’s wearing the ring he finally got around to giving her last week. He takes the glass from her and slides it across the counter instead of taking a drink, which she looks a little confused by. </p><p>He just says, “Let’s go upstairs,” and she lets out this quick little breath and kisses him hard. </p><p>After, when her hand is in her hair at the top of her head and he’s kissing her shoulder, she says something about how much she’s missed him. He knows she’s not only talking about sex. But god, he’s missed her like this, too. Her body and her hands and her breath in his ear. </p><p>He doesn’t want to move. Then it’s his hair her hands are in. </p><p>… … …</p><p>His last day of lessons for the season, he walks into work and Allie’s at the desk, checking in the lady with the multiple boyfriends, or whatever. The woman doesn’t see him, but Allie does, and her eyes track him as the woman looks over the day’s activities. </p><p>Allie says, “How about a ski lesson?” just as Harry’s about to head into the back, and he cuts her a dirty look, which makes her laugh, and then he hears her apologizing to the guest as he punches in the code for the back room. </p><p>He and Allie had been out this morning. The conditions are shit and he’d sweat through his shirt under his coat. Allie had braided her hair as they headed up the lift, slipped her little elastic off her wrist and then given him a dark look when he leaned over and kissed her. What? He thinks it’s hot and the only time she ever does her hair like this is when they’re skiing or when she’s on top of him. So it’s all positive association for him. </p><p>Anyway, this morning, on one of their runs, she lost her balance and fell on her ass, which nearly made him lose his mind because he’s fucking terrified about her leg, or whatever. She’d gotten up, brushed herself off, and said she was fine. So he joked that he knows a good teacher if she wants to get better on skis. She hadn’t appreciated it; shoved him hard on the chest so he fell over, too, and then took off down the hill without him.</p><p>She’s alone when he walks back out, and he’s got just enough time to stop and say hey to Becca and get a coffee if he doesn’t like, stop and flirt with his girlfriend, or whatever. </p><p>So he just says, “I’ll see you later?” on his way by, shoots her a smile when she nods. </p><p>By the time he gets to his last lesson of the day, it all feels a little bittersweet. It felt this way last year, too, only this time he’s not surprised by it. Everything’s too warm, and there’s no snow in town at all anymore, and soon the hotel will be full of hikers, and then mountain bikers. Harry’s job’ll totally change, and that’s sort of fine, or whatever, because it’s a better schedule with the end of the school year, and stuff. He just loves winter. </p><p>Allie hops off the lift and heads straight for him. </p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>“I’m your 4:00,” she says, and gives him this flirty look that makes him crazy. He just tilts his head and grins at her. </p><p>“I was joking about the lessons,” he says, and she rolls her eyes at him. </p><p>“I paid for this.” Harry laughs at how she says it, all indignant. “I should get what I want.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” His voice is low, and there’s no one else around, really. She steps closer, slides her hand up his chest. “What is it you want, Pressman?”</p><p>Allie pulls down his zipper, then gets this mischievous look in her eye that he’s immediately fucking in love with. </p><p>“Guess, Bingham.”</p><p>He takes a deep breath, and then she’s saying she wants to go slow, and his brow goes up, and she says she’s talking about <i>skiing</i>, and snaps into her bindings, tells him to follow her. He does. They go slow. What he says into her ear at the bottom of the hill has her cheeks flushing and her asking if he’ll take her home now. He’s sure he can manage it.</p>
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